it calls me away from the usual patterns of thought
away from the carnal world,
whose weight has been stealing away my youth.
It leads me to another place between the trees above the rooftops,
a dazzling place of cloud and golden light.
It sways me softly 'til I let go.
The glimpse of it haunts me,
and leaves my world so hollow and grey.
This longing was with me since childish days,
when I yearned to go home, to be lost in the sky and the air.
To at last be free,
to float on beauty.
I searched the days and nights
I tried so hard to realign my life
adjusting time, chasing pleasure, ignoring pain
Forcing and pushing and disciplining
I did not cry
I did not protest
but I started to lie
To tell myself stories to ease the wound
of a sin that did not belong to me
Now the tears flow
and make way for the peace
I watch them evaporate into the light and the air
I seat myself on the throne of love
and dissolve into the all.
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