Reach out confidently

I was a single parent of two children for three years, living in Versailles, far from my family and all I grew up with. I worked full time, had my kids in two activities each and took drama classes myself. I had so many friends that I was sometimes worn out. We had great parties, with an abundance of good food, good wine and the best champagne in the world, music and dancing. My closest friends would never do anything without including my children and me -excursions to the theatre, movies, swimming pool, or a game of dodgeball in the park.

Was I lonely? Sometimes.

I was lonely when I had problems I couldn't share with them, like money problems. Money was a bit of a taboo and still is to a certain extent. Self esteem is wrapped up in money or spending power. So there were only about two people I would ask for help with money and it always took a great effort from me to do this.

There was another occasion when I felt lonely. On days like Mother's day or Easter Sunday or Christmas day or even most Sundays at lunchtime. People would typically arrive by car to the building where we lived. They would ascend the stairs to the different residences, laden down with flowers, desert or other packages. They were visiting their parents or aunts or cousins. This sight tugged at my heart, my family being in Canada.

But the worst isolation was to feel alone with my children, with their pain, with their rage, with what I perceived to be the injustice that was done to them. I was twenty eight years old when my single parenthood status began. That was very young to deal with an abusive unfaithful husband, a divorce, and two small children in the mix, not to mention finances.

I know it's not the worst thing that can happen but it was hard to carry all that alone, or what felt like alone.

There is no absolute cure for loneliness because it is most often in our own minds that we are alone. My mother used to say "a problem shared is a problem halved". So, that's my cure!