I love Me

Today I went clothes shopping. I really have to be in the mood for this and today it just wasn't happening.

Of course when the mood isn't there but the necessity is, patience is a scarce thing. Although I was pleasantly surprised that I did not go up a pant size, I found myself very critical of my image in the mirror. Hence a rapid increase in the gloom factor.

Every other woman in the store looked better than me and I was happy for them. (Yeah right!) So, of course nothing fit, nothing was in my size and I felt like giving up and having a sex change.

And then I remembered, people don't really see the details as I see them. They don't see the odd stray eyebrows that needs plucking or the round belly. They see the whole. If the whole is giving off gloom or glory, the rest is just details.

So I decided there and then that I was gorgeous, absolutely fabulous, and super sexy all together. I felt it, I walked it, I talked it.

After that everything flowed easily. I found everything I set out to find and swaggered on to do the grocery shopping.

Now you're thinking, "she's not going to get much validation for her self esteem in a grocery store." And I would tend to agree. I actually thought of it first!

Nonetheless, I filled the trolley with fruits, veggies and cereal when I noticed that I kept meeting the same guy over and over. And he kept making eye contact with me. I thought, "See, my attitude is working, even in a grocery store."

It was a good encouragement, so I kept it up even though I lost the guy.

Finally, I was laughing and chatting with the cashier and the guy who packs the groceries when Mr Follow me around the store guy reappeared. I flashed him a big smile that said, "Yes, I am beautiful, thank you for noticing."

Now because I have a very nerdy mind, I have to make more of this than meets the eye. Because I watch my mind, when I can, and pay attention to what it's doing to me, I have to see more than just me shopping and changing my moods. I see how I, and I'm sure some of you, get addicted to the approval and affection of someone outside of ourselves. Well, it's all very nice when you have a perfect partner, perfect family and perfect kids who spend all their time admiring and appreciating you. Why they might even put on some robes and start "oming" in front of you. But unless you're perfect yourself, you are going to get pretty tired of all that "oming" and you're going to tell them all to get a life.

What I'm getting at is this. Whatever is going on with you on the outside, it doesn't matter, what matters in the end is your relationship with yourself.

Even in your deepest darkest moments you can say, "I am gorgeous, I am absolutely fabulous, I am super sexy" And mean it!